Anticipation

ANTICIPATION, thou art the basest of all!  Those minutes drag by and collapse into hours and as you lose track of time or of the world around you, your mind continues to oscillate in and out of a state of nothingness and emotions progressively change. Waiting for that phone call from a loved one, your mood swings from longing to desperation when an affirmative was all that was needed. Ask a student waiting for his results, the tension building up in anticipation of what his future is about to become. More than anyone, ask a full-term mother in labor, those last few hours of waiting to see how her dream turns out to be. Is the baby fine and healthy, the pain no longer affects her, she is beyond all distress and suffering, eagerly waiting to cradle the fruit of her womb in her arms. This anticipation has a dark side too, one we often neglect. Waiting for people to show up just because you respect time and as they trickle in later, this waiting darkens to annoyance to anger.

Shubham reminded me of a ghazal by Attaullah Khan...

क्यों तू अच्छा लगता है, वक़्त मिला तो सोचेंगे,
तुझ में क्या क्या दिखता है, वक़्त मिला तो सोचेंगे.
सारा शहर शनासाई का, दावेदार तो है लेकिन,
कौन हमारा अपना है, वक़्त मिला तो सोचेंगे.
हम ने उसको लिखा था, कुछ मिलने की तदबीर करो.
उसने लिख कर भेजा है, वक़्त मिला तो सोचेंगे.
मौसम, खुशबू, बाद-ए-सबा, चाँद, शफक और तारों में,
कौन तुम्हारे जैसा है, वक़्त मिला तो सोचेंगे.
या तो अपने दिल की मानो, या फिर दुनियावालों की.
मशवरा उसका अच्छा है, वक़्त मिला तो सोचेंगे.